


A Life Worth Living

by EnglishPoet18



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Caryl, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3140150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglishPoet18/pseuds/EnglishPoet18





	A Life Worth Living

..............

There comes a time in every person's life where you have to make the decision to stay and fight or throw in the towel. Carol Peletier knew that she was at that point the moment that Rick had left her on her own in a ramshackle subdivision miles from the prison. This realization hit her so hard that she had to pull the old station wagon she had been driving to the side of the road because her hands were shaking so badly.

Life hadn't been easy for her. As far back as she could remember she had been a victim. And the truth of the matter was that she had allowed herself to play that role for the most part. She grew accustomed to the abuse - physical as well as emotional and she became prisoner to the very thing that she had always feared. She had handled it at the time in the only way that she knew how - by constantly aiming to please everyone.

But she knew now that she hadn't done herself or Sophia any favors. Ultimately she had paid the price for it all when she had lost her daughter. She remembered the pain...it ate at her even to this day, but more than that she remembered the guilt. The guilt had threatened to swallow her whole. In her entire life she had never anticipated losing the very person she had vowed to protect from the harshness of life. And because she had kept her so close, shielded her from so much, she had lost the very thing that had been keeping her sane. She had almost given up and she had considered it multiple times while crying herself to sleep at night. It had been Daryl that had ultimately prevented her from doing the unthinkable even though she wasn't entirely sure the he even knew.

Daryl had been the one to tell her like it was, tell her how wrong she was for not being there when they had dug Sophia's grave. At the time she hadn't thought that she could hold it together and she had felt herself slipping into that familiar wave of depression that had haunted her during her marriage to Ed. It had been comfortable to her and she knew how to deal with those feelings more than anything else in life.

Except Daryl Dixon had had other plans. He had unknowingly pushed her out of that depression and into an area that she was unfamiliar with. He had awakened feelings that she had thought were buried, pushed her past her comfort zone and shown her that even though life was no longer the same, it was still worth _living._ He became a friend to her and she remembered all of their late night chats while on the road with the others fondly.

And over time those feeling of friendship began to grow until another long forgotten feeling blossomed inside of her - desire. Despite her best intentions at trying to ignore those feelings they only grew stronger as time passed.

The day that Daryl had found her in the tombs after T-Dog sacrificed his own life for her Carol knew that things were changing between them. The bond between them deepened and she knew that he had felt it too. They began spending more time together, taking walks by themselves until one day things just... _changed._

One minute they had been walking together as they left a council meeting. Carol had been teasing him about the flock of young women who seemed to follow him everywhere and the next he had been awkwardly kissing her.

She would like to say that it had been magical and that sparks had rained down from the sky, but the truth of the matter was that it had been nothing at all like that. It was awkward and short with both of them not knowing quite how to act. One minute she had been talking and the next his mouth had covered hers briskly. She had froze on the spot, her brain not quite comprehending the events as they happened. It had taken her a minute to grab her bearings and she had pressed her lips to his in return. Neither of them had said a word to each other when they separated, but Carol knew her brain hadn't been working quite right.

Because even though there hadn't been sparks, it had still felt _right_. That was something she had never felt with Ed, not even once and she knew now that she should have taken that as a warning sign. But she had been weak then, a shadow of her very soul following her body around like a slave. She and Daryl had discussed that once, had talked about how important it was to have a life worth living. And that day that Rick had kicked her out of the prison, had told her to leave and that she was better off on her own had forced her to come to terms with herself.

She wasn't that same scared shadow anymore. Instead, she was her own woman, capable of making strong decisions and fighting her own battles. Even though she was sure it hadn't been Rick's intention he had actually done her a favor that day. Driving away from him had hurt, but it had only taken her several miles before she had realized that she didn't have to take orders from Rick and by just driving away she was taking the easy way out. So she did the only thing she knew to be right - she turned the car around and headed back towards the prison.

...

 _Daryl will understand._ She chanted those words in her head over and over as she drove, her hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles were stark white. The truth of the matter was that she didn't need any of them, didn't have to have them with her to survive anymore. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, but she wouldn't leave Daryl behind. If he decided to stay at the prison then that would be his choice, but she would give him that choice. Rick had no right to take that away from either of them.

And as she crested the last hill before getting to the prison she slowed the car to a stop. Taking several deep breaths she steeled herself for the very real possibility that Daryl wouldn't want to leave with her. She decided that if he didn't then she would respect that decision; she wouldn't hate him for it. After all, they might have shared a lot of nights together wrapped in each others arms, but she also knew that the prison had become a home for Daryl. She wouldn't ask him to leave that for her.

She flipped the visor down and stared at her reflection in the tiny mirror, noting the circles under her eyes and the paleness of her skin. She ran her fingers through her short locks and sighed. This was who she was now. She wasn't a pushover anymore and she knew that she was worthy of love.

The sound of a motorcycle cut through her thoughts, faint at first then steadily increasing. She opened her car door and stepped out, her eyes alert to everything around her just like she had been taught. The second the motorcycle rolled into sight, Carol took several deep breaths to calm her nerves as she waited for the one man who had become everything to her.

Daryl coasted the bike to a stop next to the car, his eyes flashing relief before they narrowed in concern as he strode swiftly to her. Carol gripped the handle of the car door to ground herself and he stopped several feet from her as if he were unsure of how to proceed. They stared at each other for several heartbeats and then he slowly closed the gap between them, gently prying her fingers free of the door. She let him and then he was wrapping his strong arms around her, holding her tightly to his own body.

A sob broke free of her and she pressed her face into his shoulder, dragging in deep lungfuls of his scent. He pulled her to him more tightly, fitting her against him in a familiar embrace. When she felt his chest rising and falling deeply against her own she knew that he was fighting his own emotions and she clung to him as tightly as possible.

His hands stroked over her back and into her hair where he grabbed her face and pulled away from her so that he could stare into her eyes.

"You came back."

She nodded, "I don't know how much you know." She closed her eyes for the space of several seconds. "I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye."

There. She had said it and she was offering him an easy out if he didn't want to come with her. This way he didn't have to give a blunt reply and no one would get their feelings hurt. At least not that she would let him see anyway.

"Goodbye," he echoed softly, his eyes searching hers. "You're just gonna go then? You're gonna leave because Rick decided to make decisions without consulting the rest of us?"

"I can't go back there," she replied. "It's not for me anymore Daryl and Rick made it clear he doesn't want me around his family. I'm strong enough now...I can make it out here on my own." He recoiled from her as if he had been bitten and Carol winced softly, realizing she had hurt him.

He looked off into the distance, his eyes hardening and then he looked back at her, those deep blues staring into her very soul. Without a word, he grabbed her again, but this time he kissed her. It wasn't like any of their other kisses of late either. Those had been lazy, exploring kisses filled with romance. This kiss...this kiss was filled with everything that Daryl felt packed into one punch. She felt the longing, the desperation, desire, and the _love_ that this man felt for her. His tongue stroked against hers, igniting a fire within her that had yet to be stoked, but burned just a little bit hotter each time. There wasn't a trace of awkwardness in this kiss. In that moment she forgot about everything - the walkers, Rick, the group, and the fact that they were standing in the midst of an abandoned highway in the middle of Georgia. She forgot it all because of the _magic_.

When he finally pulled away from her they were both dragging in deep breaths. "Why were you leaving?" She whispered.

Daryl huffed, a noise that was part hysterical laugh and part scowl. Grabbing her by the arms he shook her gently. "I was comin' for _you_."

Carol shook her head, "I don't expect you to leave the others for me Daryl. I know how you feel about Rick, Carl, Michonne...Judith."

Daryl swore under his breath, "They're not _you_ ," he hissed vehemently. "None of that matters without you. Don't you see?" He shook her for emphasis and Carol searched his eyes.

"See what?" She asked on a whisper.

It was Daryl's turn to close his eyes and he shook his head for a second before opening them again. And it was in that moment, before he could even say anything that she _knew_. She knew that everything might not be going the way she had anticipated and that things were bound to get rocky from here on out. But she was stronger now and she knew she owed that strength to this man standing in front of her. Because of him she had a purpose, another reason to _live_.

"Don't you see that I'm in love with you?" Daryl sucked in a deep breath, barreling forward. "I love you, Carol. There ain't no family unless you're in it." He leaned his forehead forward until it rested against her own and she felt her body relax some. "A life worth living, remember?"

................


End file.
